Ever since I got this rash on my body after the trip to the zoo on my birthday, I've begun taking a lot of showers. They help with the itching, presumably by moisturizing my skin, and also washing away allergens. I take four a day now.

I'll take one when I get home from work, which is okay, but then I take one before bed, one in the middle of the night when I wake up itchy, and one right when I get up (which is my normal shower time). I'm starting to get waterlogged right when I'm ready to sleep, and all this showering throughout the broken consciousness of going to sleep and coming awake again is getting me down.

I think I may prune up soon.

I think a problem with me, especially after a visit to WebMD to find a solution for this rash verifying it, is fire. I have too much fire energy in me.

Granted, I'm a fire sign, with a fire name, with a fire master number... you get the idea. I'm all about fire. I have thought about how it manifests off and on, and it's interesting.

I've been stressed since I got this rash. Yesterday a couple of the guys suggested that I have it because of the stress. However, I often have blemishes on my skin, but also, it flares up at times of stress.

I've also been upset and stressed out because I'm not creating. I'm not writing. I'm not building. I'm not growing. All I get to do is the stuff that I do at work, and I don't care about a lot of it that much - it's interesting, but it would be interesting in the context if we were allowed to do it right, and within a larger context of making a better computing environment for users. Instead, we're at the whim of corporate politics.

(One of the guys at work, a graphic designer, says about my inability to create, "if you can't build at home, you can't be you -- that's part of you." Exactly - just like I've been saying.)

Add to that, sometimes, my very skin feels like it's on fire! Getting in the shower makes it feel like it's being "put out," if that makes any sense. A cool shower extinguishes the flames.

Of course, the scalding showers I used to take simply dries my skin out, as described by WebMD. Also, it's just adding fire energies to my body -- what good will that do me, when I have an abundance of undirected fire already? It may feel normal and good, but it's harming me in the long run.

So, I'm doing my best to heal through a collaboration with the Greater Consciousness. Letting it guide me, watching what I do, and caring for it as best I can. It has actually retreated somewhat, now being mostly resident (at least painfully) beneath my arms, and I hope to nurse it back to health soon.

I still take antihistamines -- obviously, some of this is due to an external irritant, and I think it may be extended exposure to cat allergens. I also think it's high time we find a new air filter (we haven't had a new one for about two and a half months, but it seems to be hard to find a 1"x10"x30' filter around here).

I often wonder how compatible, or incompatible as the case may be, scientific beliefs and supernatural beliefs are. I mean, if you think about my rash situation in both ways, then both explain it in their own terms, and in a lot of ways they talk about fixing it in similar ways. They're not even mutually exclusive.

At the same time, there are different situations where one would say that the way to resolve a condition with science would be suspect, and maybe a holistic method would be better, and then those who rely on magickal- and spirituality-based solutions may be robbing themselves when a medical solution is available.

Is one better than the other? Is it dependant on the situation?

Not long ago, I would have unequivocally said, "yes, scientific medicine is better. The rest is quackery." Maybe the rest is quackery. I don't know. I do know I believe in medicine for the most part (even if I don't like doctors).

Maybe that's why I'm using mix-and-match. Medications and magick. Maybe I'm experimenting on myself. Who knows?

restlessmind