Make me a friend on Twitter.
Ah, times, they do a-change...
17:00:00 on 2000-10-31
Okay... what's changed?
Came back to Texas. I already hated Texas. I hate it even more now. I want to go back to California. Or Nevada. Or someplace that just isn't here.
I'm back on the medication, at this time, Wellbutrin (yay!) and Zoloft (boo). At least I feel something now. I feel apathetic. Or maybe pathetic, I can't quite decide. I'm leaning back towards the Remeron, personally.
Carrot Top got out of prison, and I'm undecided if I want to blow his two-time-loser, convict ass off or try to rekindle a friendship with him. It's really hard to decide, because I need friends here, but do I need friends like him? He's getting back into the whole medievalism/SCA thing and I don't want to go there (what a damn time sink), so maybe it's best to let him stay on the periphery of my existence. Occasional lunch and computer games online should do.
I finally broke all ties with Gurugrrl. I was sad about it for a while, but not nearly as sad as I had expected to be. I feel the load on my shoulders is a lot lighter now.
Now I'm seriously contemplating a relationship with someone that I'm fairly certain is a bad idea, but the funny bit is that neither of us care if it is or not because I think we're relatively "into" each other. What's up with that? (Details are not forthcoming - they could be used to incriminate me.)
I still can't find the resolve to work on any of my ideas. I can't even work on my personal website. Ditto for waking up before 3:00 PM... or leaving the house most of the time. Depression doesn't linger now, it permeates.
I used to complain that I didn't have a life - now I have too much of one.
Now I write sporadically to the notify list to keep people updated, although I haven't written in three weeks now. It's still open as a discussion list, although I have put a "gag order" on a couple people and moderated them simply because I don't need them giving me crap in a public forum.
I am working on restlessmind.com slowly, but surely - I keep coming up with cool designs, and they always turn out to be too large for a smaller screen (they'd rock at 1600x1200 or better - can't you people upgrade?). I'm considering blowing off anybody with 640x480 again.
This isn't to mention that I can't concentrate long enough to write the PHP and Perl code to tie it all together. Anybody against Flash animation? I may do the site in Flash. If you don't want to download plugins or use Lynx... well, sucks to be you.
Anyway, that's news from the front. If you want more, join the notify list. I'll announce when the site is in alpha-testing, too. (Are any websites out of alpha?)
I fell in love, in the sense that I haven't felt since I was with Geegee. I went to California to be with this woman. I fell out of love when she got impatient or spooked or confused and slept with her ex as some sort of screwed-up goodbye gesture. I can't even stand the thought of her now. Now I sit around wondering what ever possessed me to fall for a wishy-washy, new-age hippie who smokes pot, has slut issues (with really good reason), has serious commitment issues and thinks she's a witch. (I can live with the witch thing, but some of the rest of it was really hard to take after a while. The things I'll do for a redhead...)
Ancient history:2013-03-01 "You'll be stone dead in a moment!" 2007-08-07 I covet fuck you money 2007-07-16 My own long, dark tea-time of the soul 2007-07-11 My internet experience is lacking 2007-07-10 Coincidence
| << Before now | After now >> |