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Back when I started this site, it was partly a place for me to vent, but also it was a depression journal. Eventually things got better, I moved on and got back on track. Today, I visited my family doctor and got a prescription for Wellbutrin, an antidepressant. Everything old is new again! Marilynn seemed to be sad that I got the prescription, but I know in my heart that it's the best thing. I am older and wiser now, about life and about the medication. I know now that the reason I am depressed isn't because I am worthless or unworthy (no matter how I may feel momentarily). I know that it is a chemical imbalance I have come back to because of the weight of what the last eighteen months has done to us. Once I start the medication tonight, I can get back on track. A change in my motivation and energy level will lead me to tackle projects, which means the incredible mass of things that I need to do that is paralyzing me can be whittled away. Once I do that, I can start working on the things that I want to accomplish. Home, marriage, projects, career... all of these things can come back into balance. I just need this little push. One thing that I hope will improve with getting over the lower mood and energy will be weight loss. I have never been this big before, and I am ready for a definite change. I lost a very small amount of weight when I was on Wellbutrin several years ago, and I hope that the change is more marked now since I actually want to lose weight. Also, Marilynn and I are bouncing around ideas about some changes to our diets around should might make some difference, and a dear reader suggested I join Sparkpeople to get some support, which I might do once I get my computer back up and running. (If you recall, it's been down for months, first because of moving, and then because Windows couldn't validate my license code. By the stats I am getting from Google searches, it can't validate a lot of peoples' codes.) So, all in all, there are changes afoot. Let's hope it's positive!
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