I've been having this urge to record everything. Keep it around.

Maybe part of it comes from keeping a site like this, or the fact that I've journal led off and on throughout my life. Maybe it comes from thinking I may actually do something of note, so I want to keep permanent records of all of this. Perhaps it's just narcissism. Regardless, I've been feeling the urge to keep things.

Part of it feels like I'm falling behind. For over five years now, I've been wanting to keep the kind of website that would knock socks off and be complex and deep and integrated into my life. Now those websites are appearing, with most of the features I've wanted.

Part of it is just seeing things people do, and I know I should be doing, too. For instance, a long-time online journal-keeper has been keeping a collection of her pictures she made with her mini Pencam. I keep one of these in a hard shelled case in my backpack, and even occasionally snap pictures with it. Do I post them? Do I take it everywhere? No. But you think I would with this urge to record.

Lately, in a very odd twist, I've been recording every movie I see and every fortune cookie I get in a database. This is down to the level of where we saw the movies, on what screen, reviews, etc; on the cookies, I'm recording the pick six and pick three numbers. All searchable, all ready to be processed, all ready for... something. What, I have no idea.

Where does this neurotic need to record come from? I think I just want to build. I want to express. I have a voice in me that is screaming to get out, that goes unheard. Maybe it's not worth hearing, but it's going to sing out anyway.

Mental note to self: start carrying one of the digital cameras with me everywhere. Get a voice recorder? Video camera? Webcam? Work on one of your freakin' sites, fergadsakes?

(Yes, I see the irony of recording my admission of my need to record.

Also, I wonder how Marilynn would sit with recording everything. I imagine that could be disconcerting after a time.)

restlessmind