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Diaryland is da bomb I just *have* to tell you how much this all sucks. Who're these other people he's writing about? Who's the freak writing this, anyway? What's gone before. What's going on right now? Where do *you* visit on the web? What're you building right now?


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Another smart-assed remark from Mike
I have to admit, it's getting better
12:20:00 on 2001-05-01

It's almost been a year since I abandoned this journal. A lot happens in a year.

Like the ZZ Top song goes, "I been up, I been down/Take my word, my way around" Up and down in the life sense, not the depression sense. Well, sure, the depression sense, too, but...


On the depression front? Well, I still see a psychiatrist, but I don't generally take my meds. I haven't felt as though I needed them, to be perfectly honest. I have basically been dropped onto Wellbutrin, 400 mg a day. This means that basically, they're assaulting my brain with high doses of stimulant so I'll quit being so mopey.

But I haven't been.

Well, my girlfriend seems to say that I'm not, at least not most of the time. When we're together I'm not, that's for damned sure, but in general, my mood is improving.


Girlfriend? Huh?

Yeah, girlfriend. I gave up on Gurugrrl finally. I found this hippie, wiccan, oversexed, bohemian alterna-girl named Lisa who lives in South Lake Tahoe, California, and in time I went out there to be with her. That lasted practically no time at all.

I've basically come to recognize that I was reaching for somebody who was so not me, so out of the ordinary for me, somebody who could be what I thought I wanted, and still had some bits of what I knew was right already. Even though things were just wrong... I still wonder at times why it didn't work. Isn't that bleedin' obvious?

I sure do miss her sometimes, though. (I miss Gurugrrl, too. (But then, I miss Geegee and the others, too.))

Now I'm with someone much closer, although still a ways away - Hallettsville, Texas, to be exact. Her name is Connie, and she's a bit older than me (a month from today she'll be 35 - I'll still be thirty!), has a daughter, is very sweet and kind and understanding and gentle. I adore her, and she and her daughter adore me. We have our rough patches, but so does every couple.

Saturday was our three-month anniversary. Of course, she had to work, so we didn't get to spend a whole lot of time together, but we spent what we could. I got a key made to her house (oddly enough, when I went to get it made her last boyfriend was the one who made it - fortunately, he didn't know it was to her house (I assume)), and we joke about me moving in. Of course, I can't, because it'd be to far to commute to my job.


What? Job?

Yeah, I've started a gig as the web geek and software developer for the enterprise solutions group at a very prominent regional health care provider, and also I'm learning the ropes of being a distribution package creator for software packages. I just started a few weeks ago, but I already have a real place in the team. Now I just have to convince them that switching to Apache web server with PHP and Perl isn't evil, since they come from an IIS/ASP/VBscript background...

The money is actually reasonably good, at least for this point - that's probably the only reason we've not actually been serious about me moving to Hallettsville and making dirt wages out there. Anyway, Connie is studying to become a nurse starting in August, so she'll want to come work in Houston at the Texas Medical Center where the money is once she finishes. So for now... it's commute every weekend to be together.

Anyway, I'm hoping here I can learn skills I can really use to find a position making Real Money�. Well, sure, I make real money already, but I'm talking about broadening my skill set, coming up with code I can use for other purposes on my own sites, etc. It's a double-tasked position for me.

Now if I could just get them from asking why I don't install Frontpage server extensions! Barbarians.


That's the state of my world since a year ago. At least, the obvious bits. My living situation still sucks, my car situation still sucks (my car needs help, desperately - unfortunately, I don't have that kind of money yet)... but it slowly, it's getting better.

restlessmind


Ancient history:
2013-03-01"You'll be stone dead in a moment!"
2007-08-07I covet fuck you money
2007-07-16My own long, dark tea-time of the soul
2007-07-11My internet experience is lacking
2007-07-10Coincidence



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