But yes, I got throttled by somebody who's supposed to be on my side.

There was this contract position (perhaps contract-to-hire, I was told) that got moved on pretty quickly this afternoon - they want somebody with some Photoshop and layout experience, and want them to start ASAP. At first we thought I'd be interviewing today, but now I'll be interviewing first thing tomorrow morning.

Anyway, the woman I had been talking to had left for the day, and I ended up talking to another one of their recruiters. He was giving me some particulars (I don't feel so hot that they don't have more detail), and then he said, "well, they will probably want you to start tomorrow," which would be very cool. Then he said they may be interviewing one or two other people, so they may call me back in that day.

Then he decided to add something: "I have to tell you," he said with a little chuckle in his voice. "Your resum� isn't the greatest. You jump over a lot of stuff."

I think I heard a bone break... a referee throws the flag in the end zone. Call a time-out, and quit shining that damned penlight in my eyes!

Okay, I admit I have some spotty experience here and there. In fact, I have an extremely varied background (it's one of the things that tells me I'm an entrepreneur at heart; it's a hallmark of many entrepreneurs), because I've done lots of things. It makes it hard to pigeonhole me.

I think people like others that can be pigeonholed.

I was feeling so up, so "on top of the world," and he has to make it like this. Sigh. I guess it's not his fault; he doesn't know I obsess on things like this. This eats at me.

If I had gotten to interview at 6:00 PM tonight, I wouldn't have had time to feel scared. Now I'm quaking in my boots. What's funny is just last night I was talking to Gurugrrl about ignoring the fear. Just... see past it.

Does this make me a hypocrite?

I guess it's just up to me to find a way to make the negatives into positives. Not my strongest trait, I hate to admit.

I am doing my best to try to compile a portfolio ASAP. He said the more I can show, the better - I take this to mean that I'm fighting an uphill battle. I'm trying to gather together some resources to see what direction I want to take from there, either web-base it, or burn a CD. I'll probably web-base it, just 'cause.

What's more? I feel like what I have is so rinky-dink. Then again, I may feel this way because I'm easy to knock down. Sigh.

I'm thinking about just calling this guy back on his cell phone tonight and asking him what the weaknesses are in my resum�. I can plan better around it if I get some specifics, right? Well, I hope, anyway.

restlessmind