[beats head on desk]

Of course, I never did host up my domain, so no big deal, right? What do I care if restlessmind.com isn't accessible right now?

Um. Do you have any idea how much email runs through restlessmind.com? (I'm an information junkie, or at least I would be if I had the attention span. It gets sorted through eventually.) Thank goodness I have most time-sensitive things set to go through pobox.com (like the email address on my resum�, and about anything I use with my real name).

Moogie just walked in here a few minutes ago before going leaving for work to ask me if I'd be awake tonight for "discussion." Generally this means that she wants to talk at me, not with me, but I didn't know of anything that heavy going on right now, so I looked at her funny - why would I want to talk to you? I thought to myself.

"I just need to talk to you tonight," she goes on.

"About what?"

"I don't have time to go into it right now. I have to go to work."

"Yeah, but what's it about?"

"I just need to talk to you about what I'm going to be doing. I don't want you sitting here stewing on it all day."

I nod, sigh and return my headphones to my ears. Oh, yeah, and start to stew. (Apparently she got that wild-assed hair up her butt that I talked about not long ago.)

Apparently it's pull-your-head-out-of-your-ass time for Mike, stop feeling sorry for myself and pull my socks up and start taking care of things that need taking care of. Fair enough - I always (used to) love a challenge.

My challenge? To find some actual work that I can make a living at. If I could pull myself out of the depths of financial insolvency Hell on $35,000 a year, I figure I can get by on that, considering I only owe a few thousand still, and it's on a student loan, anyway, so it's easy payments. (I am considering taking up my old philosophy of raises, too: if I don't get at least a 10% raise every six months (or 23.5% per year, if they don't review every six months) then it's time to start looking for greener pastures. Yes, I'm a mercenary SOB. I'm not paid enough to buy loyalty.)

I can't go back into the language industry, partly because the landscape has changed in it, the opportunities aren't as large as they used to be (even with oil prices at the current levels, the energy industry hasn't really improved - they've been working off stocks and not buying a terrible lot overseas, so there's been no need for new work on exploration or engineering work, thus low translation needs), and also because I think that everybody who owns a company (at least in Houston) in this industry is nearly psychotic, given my experiences with the various and sundry owners. (Hell, I might have been when I partnered one briefly.)

Thus, it's time to strike out for greener pastures. I have been thinking that the direction I need to work towards is web development, so I might go that way. I don't know.

Therefore, this is my conundrum, in a nutshell: do I just do work on Kirk's website, finishing it up, and hoping it and the couple of other non-journal offerings are enough to convince somebody to take a chance on me, or do I spend some of my remaining (and extremely sparse) cash to host up my domain and work on my own site? Something that I can showcase?

First, I know that it takes spending money to make some money, so I look at it as buying a stake in my future. It's just a necessary expense. Also, I realize that if I have a site that I can show that has various content that is all done by me, then maybe I can impress somebody enough to hire me, or maybe pick up some side work. Or, if I'm really lucky, both.

However, I have to think that with tax season coming up (which I'm going to have to put off paying and just suck up the penalties and expenses, unfortunately), and general bills and expenses, it's more than a little irresponsible to do that, sinking at least $100 into hosting up the domain. However, my PO Box has come due, so I have to pay that, and my domain parking is due next month, too, so I need to go ahead and do something with it or fork over a little cash to Dreamhost to park it again.

Sigh. More stopgaps.

I really don't know which way to go. However, one thing has become clear - I need to get busy on Kirk's site, get it done (and press him so we can finish it up, too; a lot of this delay is him dragging his feet, but that's understandable with his classes he's teaching on top of work and getting ready to move into a new house (fourth time they've moved since I've known 'em - I bet I get asked to help them move again, and being the putz I am, I'll agree)). I can demo Xander's site as a simple site, Kirk's as a dynamic site with database interaction, and do mine to be flashier, total database integration, and a few different ideas I have.

(Plus, I'm playing with Macromedia Flash. Ever since I saw the intro page at juju.org (don't ask me how I ever ran across that site, it was ages ago, but I adore the intro) I've wanted to do one for my domain when/if I ever get off my butt and do it. I have an idea and everything, if I can just find a decent image of a brain. (Yes, a brain.)

Anyway, sometimes eye candy is fun. Thank goodness Macromedia has downloadable manuals for their trial editions.)

restlessmind