I was flipping through a slightly outdated Leisure Learning Unlimited catalog that shows some of the classes they are offering.

People take these?

0013: City Canoeing - Floating Down Buffalo Bayou
Along with homicide victims.

1233: Intro to Aromatherapy
Must have credit for prerequisite, "1230: Voodoo And You", on file.

2685: Hatha Yoga
Does this sound like the name of a "Star Wars" character to you, too?

3055: Tea Party Etiquette
The rules are simple:
1. Don't shove scones up your nose.
2. Don't suck the cream filling out of your pastries in mixed company.
3. The tea isn't made of 'shrooms.

3406: Clever Cleaver Techniques
"You're looking lovely, today, Mrs. Cleaver."
"Why thank you, Eddie."

3520: Feng Shui of Eating
a/k/a "Eat all your food clockwise around your plate."

3584: A Christmas Log Cake (Buche No�l) Workshop
a/k/a "How to bake inedible table legs to give as gifts and be a cheap bastard this holiday season."

5250: Alone But Not Lonely
Hey, even a class I could take!

5350: I'm Grown & Still Don't Know What I Want To Be
Ditto.

5616: Massage Your Pet
Practice of this course's contents is illegal in 43 states.

5717: Fail Your Way To Success
Required course text: How I Got Where I Am Today by Dan Quayle

5735: Journal Writing - The Perfect Self-Help Technique
Funny, I don't feel any better...

5850: Palmistry - Your Self-Portrait
5857: Past Life Regression
5850: Opening the Chakras
Offered on alternate sessions: Introductory Tea Leaf Reading, Advanced Commune Building, and How to Rob Stupid Yuppies With New Age Crapola

6055: The ABCs of Separation & Divorce
'A' is for the anger that's between us...
'B' is for the bitch that you slept with...
'C' is for the children's lives you're ruining...

6207: Folk Magic In the Inner City
We're not insured if you touch the snakes.

6350: Earn a College Degree Without Being In a Classroom
And in the same classifieds in the back of "Rolling Stone" you can get information on becoming an ordained minister, too!

6515: Write a Book In Three Weeks or Less
I am surprised I can even write a journal entry in three weeks or less.

6800: Living Healthfully In a Toxic Environment
This is good in case you live near the shipchannel and the refineries.

7510: Mime - The Marceau Method
People need to be taught how to be annoying?

8400: Intro to Renaissance Swordsmanship
"What do you mean, Ben Taub ER is on driveby status? We have multiple puncture wounds here!"

9201: Solo-Preneuring� - Making a Living Without a Job
"WILL WORK FOR FOOD - GOD BLESS"

9278: Selling on the Internet

'Nuff Said.

restlessmind

Ancient history:

2013-03-01

"You'll be stone dead in a moment!"

2007-08-07

I covet fuck you money

2007-07-16

My own long, dark tea-time of the soul

2007-07-11

My internet experience is lacking

2007-07-10

Coincidence